Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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