I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
