Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...