The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree