maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.