i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
