You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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