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I need help removing her.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
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