I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Plan B is the new Plan A
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
