I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
