She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize