I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize