let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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