It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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