You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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