i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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