Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what happened last night??

  (518): View more from New York

  everyone saw ******'s vagina

  (518): View more from New York

  and that's just the beginning

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  (215): what happened last night?? (518): everyone saw ******'s vagina (518): and that's just the beginning http://tfl.nu/m65w
  Replies (5) Good night (2146) Bad night (644)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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  (352): She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all. http://tfl.nu/8svu
  Replies (31) Good night (2875) Bad night (1438)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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  (205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers (1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness.... http://tfl.nu/wnn7
  Replies (62) Good night (10811) Bad night (948)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

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  (405): Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one. http://tfl.nu/zdto
  Replies (45) Good night (5353) Bad night (648)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com

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  (203): I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com http://tfl.nu/9o3u
  Replies (10) Good night (3776) Bad night (984)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...

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  (410): He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone... http://tfl.nu/g061
  Replies (15) Good night (1556) Bad night (6046)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?

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  (913): I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name? http://tfl.nu/qxdg
  Replies (3) Good night (2930) Bad night (982)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard

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  (717): But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard http://tfl.nu/v6zl
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (1512)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.

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  (773): All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that. http://tfl.nu/u65f
  Replies (3) Good night (2253) Bad night (664)
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  (310): View more from California

  True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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  (310): True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant? http://tfl.nu/aiag
  Replies (6) Good night (1179) Bad night (1764)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.

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  (905): My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again. http://tfl.nu/lu9i
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (1126)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement

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  (717): He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement http://tfl.nu/fn4j
  Replies (5) Good night (494) Bad night (1322)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent

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  (330): If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent http://tfl.nu/pu74
  Replies (6) Good night (568) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.

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  (386): At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though. http://tfl.nu/1o31
  Replies (13) Good night (818) Bad night (394)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner

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  (281): Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner http://tfl.nu/2e25
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (673)

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