it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa