i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.