Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.