I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
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Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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