chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
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That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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