Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
