how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay