i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy