Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me