careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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