That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
