I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't put those talents on a resume
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
