Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
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At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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