R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
