I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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