Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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