i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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