it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
