I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
