She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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