Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize