I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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