My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize