My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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