I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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