Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
