I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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