His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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