i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize