I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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