The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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