I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize