So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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