Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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