She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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