Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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