My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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