My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
