I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
