Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
