And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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